Our day started off as usual (minus anyone being sick and unable to go with the group) by us eating breakfast and leaving with Mark to go out and start it up. Mark had told us last night we would be feeding people at the dumps today and from his voice and many warnings from Drew and Ben we all gathered that it was going to be a pretty emotional and eye opening experience. Drew even described it to me as a "hell on earth" type of place, needless to say I was a little nervous about our visit there.
Around 9:30 or 10:00 we all took an adventure into a super market to buy enough meat, cheese, bread, and cookies for 300 people. We piled our goods onto the conveyor belt leading up to the cash register and waited to see what the grand total would be. It rounded out to be about 2600 limps (or 126 dollars). 126 dollars to feed 300 people...pretty unreal to think about when one meal for us back home for far less people can cost that. We then traveled to the warehouse and made our sandwiches, bought some tangerines and water and made our way to the dump. All morning the group had been praying for strength throughout the entire experience and we were all pretty unsure of what this particular Honduran experience would hold. Again, nerves.
Arriving at the dump the stench is the first thing that hits you, the smell is simply unreal. Not so much nauseating but it's certainly something you take notice of. The smell didn't hold our attention long though, because as soon as we got to the top a sight laid before us that I'm positive I cannot describe in words. Cows, vultures, dogs and people all scrounging through filth and trash searching for anything of value. Piles of looming trash all around and here and there there would be a person laying down to take a rest. As we got closer I began to see how the people working in this place were dressed. Most had on long pants and shirts, some sort of make-shift mask and sunglasses to block out the bacteria filled dust that is constantly blowing around in the air. Mark told us that many people here "huff" glue because it suppresses their appetite because food is simply so hard to come by or buy. So the sandwiches we were giving them were a much needed meal.
We had a game plan in action before opening the van's doors...but nothing prepares you for what was to come. We pulled up and all but two of us got out to pass out water bags. People (men, women and children) immediately swarmed to get their share of food and water. This is the opportunity I really got to see around and view my settings. The dump is like Drew said, "hell on earth." There seems to be no hope in sight. Starving animals and people are walking around desperate for anything at all, the closest thing to hope is the city off in the distance; and for most that's just a reminder of the life they will most likely never have. People crowded the van and those of us giving out water and were definitely pushing to get their food, but honestly I cannot blame them. If I hadn't eaten I would probably be even less behaved. Everything happened so quickly it was almost impossible to process anything happening around us at the time. I don't think (for me at least) anything set in until we had left and were sitting in the Texaco parking lot talking with Mark afterwards.
Mark talked with us about the injustice of the situation we just witnessed. How man and animal were on a level playing field and how children were climbing through filth to find valuables. He said asking why wasn't really a solution to the problem, but simply asking how we ourselves as individuals can change to make it even a little better. Small changes grow to bigger ones. I began to try and process this...without much luck. I became frustrated with the fact that I (as do all the other guys here with me) want to fix the problems we just saw. We don't want to see those kids younger than us suffering in ways that are honestly unfathomable to us. Mark began talking about verses in the bible that talk about walking in the light verses the darkness. He said that he believes it doesn't have to do with sin and no sin, but rather knowing and not knowing. He said we could no longer say we were in the dark about the dumps here...because we now know. As we started back I turned my iPod on and immediately started listening to the song mentioned above. I began questioning and asking God, "Why can't we do something to fix this? This isn't fair? Why do those kids deserve this yet I live in a land of luxury back in the United States?"
As I vented I heard the chorus saying: "Only love can save us all." "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." 1 John 4:8. That's when it hit me like a ton of bricks. We, as sinners, as Christians, as humans cannot change anything. Only God can bring about change. Luckily He chooses to work through us and bring about motivation for us to change our habits to help situations. But for there to be true change we have to rely on the Lord to be it. All I can do is talk...I'm not math or science major...and Paul Fox knows I don't do well in history at Auburn University. I'm not super intelligent. I am no athlete (as the guys will tell you after watching me attempt to play soccer today with the Hondurans after passing out school uniforms). I am not super strong in my faith. And I certainly don't have a strong immune system as we saw the first three and a half days here in Teguc. But, that's all okay isn't it? When we are weak, He is strong. And I'm coming to terms with this. When I can't do anything to change an unfair situation, it is only in the Father's hands. As we decrease He infinitely increases. And we should be okay with that. Something I'm learning while here is that it's not necessarily about our talents and passions that God uses. That's much too selfish. We should (and I am still struggling with this) desire just to be used by Him for His glory. I'm not sure if any of that rambling makes sense? It hasn't even fully processed in my own mind to be truthful. All I can say for sure are these two things: Honduras is and is continuing to change mine (and the guys here)'s hearts in a big way. And God is God and that's all we need to know. Continue to send your prayers for they are well heard and needed. I cannot wait to share this entire experience with anyone who will listen. All the little things I feel like we can do, will certainly be suggested.
Missing my family, friends, Dr. Pepper and Momma G's nachos,
Evan
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